Sunday, July 04, 2010

Thinkin' about clubs

I've been thinking about organized friendships.

Like Book Clubs. Like Mary Jane's Farmgirl Sisterhood. Like message boards and Facebook. Like MOPS or MOMS groups. Like 4-H or Clover Kids. Home school groups. Bible studies.

I can't decide what I think. Sometimes I think I'd really like to join everything, as each club seems to serve a different purpose.

Book club is just an excuse to get out at night once a month with some friends. And I love to read.

I love the idea of Mary Jane's Farmgirl Sisterhood. Of getting rewarded, albeit marginally, for learning new things, improving myself if you will. Of course, I wouldn't want to do it just by myself--I'd love to have a real life friend do it with me. Plus they have a branch for little girls too, so Aviana could join in on the fun.

The message boards and Facebook are nice because it allows me to check in with real people at random times throughout the day. It allows me to interact with grown ups when I'm surrounded by ankle biters. It allows me feedback without the commitment of face-to-face.

MOPS and MOMS group have been huge in my life as ways to meet people. Planned interaction. Organized conversation. A jumping off point of commonality.

4-H is something I know nothing about but am expected to embrace as a farm wife. Clover Kids is the club for Aviana's age. The jury is still out if I'm going to start participating her this early.

Home school groups are, as far as I can tell, another point of connection between people with homeschooling in common. I'm not active in one yet, but I think it will prove to be a good support.

I've been in several Bible studies over the years, but never had a friendship "stick" as a result of meeting someone in a group like that. It always seems artificial and a little stilted to me, even though I usually enjoy the study.

Sometimes I think just letting friendship grow naturally is best.

But then, when you're home with your kids all day, how do you meet people? Stalk people at the local library? (Not that I've ever done that!)

I don't know what I think. Be a joiner? Not? As always, finding a medium that works for me is probably going to be my best solution.

3 comments:

  1. I hear ya. There's something terribly attractive about "organic" friendships - the ones where we're drawn to people themselves, rather than a common issue. Sometimes I come across people who leave me thinking, "Wow, I'd like to know them!"

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  2. I can relate. I seem to be one of the only women I know who is not "involved". I have friends from church, and know that I can count on them, and vice versa if needed, but I honestly don't have the high school close type friendships anymore.

    We occasionally have people over, but it is mostly family-our own immediate, and my parents.

    I know I remain in fellowship this way, and honestly, I don't feel like I'm missing out. I find few people with whom I share a similar lifestyle (very conservative Christian, more natural minded, Bible believing, strict old fashioned parents, etc) and worldview. We follow a similar home-based schedule for each day, and it's filled with enough stuff, that if we do much else, it'll break my "anti-modern/busy family" rule!

    My day requires so much of me that there is little time spent with groups and organized activities outside the home. My children all have lots of friends and socialization opportunities-mostly with church. I don't want to compare myself and/or children to other homeschoolers, and I don't have anything I'd rather do in the evening than be alone with my husband.

    So, yeah..I'm a weirdo that way. I just don't have the time after cleaning a home, and guiding children in chores (if not the school year in addition) and playing, and making grocery lists and cooking..planning...that leaves me less than enthusiastic for getting together with other mom's during the day or evening.

    In the end though, we're an extremely tight knit family, and my husband is a very happy man. I feel blessed, so I suppose this makes it the best method for us!

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  3. I checked out the Maryjanesfarm sisterhood...so sweet. I love the logo with a hen wearing an apron! Just not sure I feel like joining for $20 a year.
    Facebook is awesome! I know you can't do it all, but there are lots of great ideas out there!!!

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